STAREYe, the human doodle pad.
I have come to the realization, that I am a human doodle pad. Sure, we all right notes to ourselves on our hands, or draw little animals being eaten by gators on our hands when we're bored, but when was the last time you were referred to as, 'the guy with "I like broccoli" written on his forehead'? When the person next to you can't hold a marker without drawing on you, that's a serious issue.

Of course, some of it is for the good of science. One time my friend Niki discovered while writing on my arm that "Josh + Ben + Drama = 11". Seriously, this is revolutionary stuff. Next time you see me, remind me to scan the picture so I can put it up here. And this other time, I was eating skittles and my friend Dave noticed the fish I drew on my hand earlier, and came up with what we decided was an awesome name for a band, Skittlefish.The inspiration I create is quite legendary.

However some results aren't quite as flattering. The other day someone write "You smell like cheese" in Dutch on my hand. Then I found the smiley face I had previously drawn had been altered to look considerably dumber, and been labeled, 'Uncle Benny'. And of course you've heard of my rumored fixation on broccoli. I ask you, what kind of world is this, where children reduce their peers to the worth of scrap paper? This is truly cold and harsh.

What I dream of, is a world where we may smell like cheese, in whatever language we want, without prejudism. Where we aren't looked down on, because of what is written on our forehead, and where we don't have to wash the turtle somebody drew on our arm in permanent ink off. My fellow under-respected doodle pads, you have my sympathy.

Moo