You know what is an awesome candy? Rockets. You know those things? Of course you do. Rockets rule. They come in these cool packages that you get to twist, and they're just plain awesome. You know what's an awesome thing-that-is-not-candy? Rockets. You know those things? I sure hope so. Rockets are awesome because you can shoot them at things, and they blow up. And everything that blows up is awesome. Except for when by "blows up" you actually mean the expression which means "gets really mad at you", because that sucks. People who blow up, and not in the literal sense, are just irritating. I think it would be cool if people who "blow up" actually blew up. It would take care of the problem, and we'd all get a sweet fireworks show. Fireworks rule, I like playing with firecrackers, and eating soda crackers. At the same time. The only problem is when you confuse the two, and accidentally set your food on fire. Or blow yourself up, I guess that wouldn't be good either.

In 1336, a man named STAREYe invented the explosion. It was so awesome he got his own internet fad called "1336". Everyone called everything they thought was cool "1336". Then one dip realized that if you added 1 to 1336, it became 1337, which kind of looks like leet, which kind of sounds like elite. So then everyone started saying 1337, and the true meaning was lost, just like in holiday specials where they all starting fighting and the holiday's respective mascot comes and teaches everyone that the true meaning is to get along and buy everything the TV tells you to. This made STAREYe rather sad, so he did the only thing he could think of. He went back in time and asked Abraham Lincoln what to do, because he's one of those guys with a beard and hat, and everyone knows those guys are smart.

Abe, in his infinite wisdom granted to him by the order of the hat & beard guys, traveled with STAREYe to the future, to year 2006, where a rather Christmas Carol-esque scenario ensued, which made no sense at all given that the circumstances were nothing like those in A Christmas Carol. Eventually they came to the conclusion that if STAREYe had a holiday to celebrate 1336-day, and a friendly commercial mascot to remind people to buy the right brand of Cola for the holiday festivities, then people would realize how awesome he was for inventing explosions. 'Cause I mean seriously, explosions aren't just awesome, they're pretty helpful too. You can knock down building way faster with them then you could if you didn't have them.

So anyway, STAREYe made 1336-day, and thus it began. But he soon realized nobody was celebrating it, because it wasn't on any calendars, and people are to dumb to remember anything that isn't written on a calendar. So STAREYe started sending letters to businesses that make calendars, pointing out their error in not including 1336-day. He got some rather unhelpful form letters back, and realized there was only one place to go. That place was the internet. Odd pun not intended. He set up a website to explain to people about 1336-day, so there would be happiness a crossed the globe. Unfortunately, he forgot to put it on his calendar, and sort of forgot about 1336-day. He then had a pretty rad website on his hands that he couldn't remember what he was doing with it. Abe couldn't remember either, and had to go back to the past because it was past his bedtime.

The next day, Abe came back and told STAREYe they were going back to 2006. They went and found that instead of a bizarre Christmas Carol hack, the future now held an awesome website called That Place. STAREYe and Abe hung out for a while with some cool dudes who lived there, including a future STAREYe who for some reason had sunglasses and a goatee. After they were done they traveled back to 2003, met a blue cow, and started That Place. Then Abraham Lincoln woke up and realized it had all been a really trippy dream, caused by eating way too much magic cake.