StarMark Wednesday, August
6, 2003
Sorry. It's been a while. We have taken a while to test Pokey's DNA analysis.
Well, I have to say, it was a surprise. As Professor Andonuts explains...
Yes... thank you Apple Kid. At first glance, Pokey Minch's DNA was normal to
any human being. But upon further investegation, he certainly was... different.
He had an extra Y chromosome. That basically means he is a more aggressive and
err.... 'moody' person. He also has an enlargement of the hypothalamus.
Channels more aggression. Bad sign....
But the most shocking of all was the fact that he had a disfigured 22nd
chromosome. That means, in English terms, that the chromosome that seperates us
from chimpanzees, was incomplete. That means that Pokey is a umm... well, he is
one of the 'missing links' that have eluded me for quite some time. I must
say... when I compared his DNA to a cave boy's there was not that many
similarities, except one. Atleast he is as intelligent as an ordinary human
being. But, there was one gene that was strange. This is a gene that is
similar to the monkeys that live underground. He had the same exact gene. One
that, believe it or not, controls the monkey's diet. That means that Apple
Kid's observation on his case of why Pokey took only the bananas can be
explained. Because monkeys eat bananas! What a shock! They also like
hamburgers. (No wonder why he is so obese) And monkeys also love to urinate
and deficate in public places. But it seems that those are the only
similarities of Pokey and a chimpanzee. Well, maybe there are more. I am going
to iron out the kinks of my iron pencil erasor. I'll give the summary back to
Apple Kid.
Well, there you have it. Professor Andonuts and I have diagnosed his case. He
has a mild case of monkey fever. Who knew? Now that we know his genetical
characteristics, perhaps there will be new leads in the case. I just received
news that a man that sells water in a dessert in Scaraba just got robbed from
Pokey Minch. See you again in Scaraba.
Apple Kid.
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