Greeting citizens of Eagleland. I come from another world called the Mushroom Kingdom, which is also under the rule of our grand creator, Nintendo. As you know, characters from different worlds rarely get to meet each other, and Nintendo has decided to make a game to improve inter-game relations, called "Super Smash Bros.".

Super Smash Bros. will be a game where 12 characters from various games can get together and fight each other to find who the better hero is. Eagleland has been selected to have their best hero come and be part of it. Most of the slots for heroes are taken, so yours will have to be a hidden, difficult to unlock hero, but keep in mind that it still will bring publicity to EarthBound, possibly enough to get you a sequel, which is something your are in need of. Please notify your hero of this, and direct him to the Summers Hotel, which I am staying at.

On a different note, I would like to say that Eagleland has been a most enjoyable place to stay. One place I visited looking for heroes, called 'Hyrule', was a pretty lousy place. Everyone laughed at my clothes, and the exchange rate for coins and rupees was horrible. Another place was a jungle, where it was sweltering hot and it was full of monkeys! Monkeys have some strange obsession with stealing my hat, and I had to fight off about 50 of them back there!

Anyway, I wish your hero luck in SSB, although he'll be no match for me! After all, I fight off giant turtles! The only thing better than that would be like defeating an evil cosmic destroyer with nothing but a baseball bat or something, heh, as if.