Sure, everybody talks about how great Ness and his friends were, but you just don't seem to hear about the fact that they were CRIMINALS!

When I first lent the Bike to Ness, he seemed honest enough. Just a kid who needed some transportation. I saw him about a week later with some girl, and I asked him if he was done with the bike. He said he was, but he had left it with Escargo Express so he wouldn't have to carry it back from Happy Happy Village. I told him not to worry, just to get it back as soon as he could.

A few weeks later, I had started to worry. Then I heard that he had been stealing bananas and eggs from the food stand in Happy Village, and hanging around with Everdred in Burglen Park. That's when I really began to question the intentions of this guy. Its now been several months since I've seen this little punk, excluding newspapers of course, and I've no doubt that he fully intends to keep that bike. Especially since last week I was talking to my cousin in Deep Darkness, and he says he saw Ness riding around on it in the swamp! Now even if he does give it back, it'll be rusted out.

I even went to the police, but Chief Strong claims Ness to be a good honest citizen. I wasn't surprised to find later on that Ness and the Police Chief are actually good friends. Just goes to show how the law only applies to those who don't help people with authority beat 'EarthBound'. It's a sad country we live in.