Hello and welcome to my column. I’m Onett’s very own trumpeter. The other day, I lost my trumpet and I cried a lot. I phoned ENC’s central office in order to place an ad in case someone finds my trumpet. The guy told me that he could pay me to search Eagleland for my trumpet in exchange of articles for the Travel section. I said okay and that’s why my words are on your screen.

First they told me that if I think I was superior to them or something like that, I could be replaced easily. They also said that the previous person that they hired left them soon after his hiring. Lier X. Agerate apparently became an astronaut (at least, that’s what he said). I think I’ll do a better job than him because I’m a musician and he’s a real estate guy. What’s the difference? I’m an artist. Oh no… wait! I guess he was better than me… He’s a con artist and I’m not able to lie. How am I going to attract people in a stinky place like the Tenda’s village?

I would also like to say that ENC did not use every single Territorial Oak from Peaceful Rest Valley to print the paper version of this guide. This rumor originated from Monotoly who wanted to promote his book: Eagleland Traveling for Dummy. That book is really bad for multiple reasons. First of all, it’s written in ink that came from Military Octobots. Then, it was written by Orange Kid, a kid that never traveled.

Right now, it is time for me to leave for Onett. Oh wait, I am in Onett. I’m sorry for this pathetic joke attempt. Anyway, I shall try to find interesting place to visit in Onett and send the article your way!