[Television Commercial Transcript]

"Hey everyone! I'm Jeff, son of the well known Dr. Andonuts! You may be wondering, "What is this little boy doing on the T.V.?". So I'll tell you why!"

"After many travels with friends and a lot of Coffee, I have finally realized my talent as a repairman! Here at Jeff's Repair Service, we can fix anything like brand new, even if it's not necesessarily what it was before it was broken!"

"See this? This was a worthless Suporma machine by Orange Kid. But working through the night, we have crafted it into the work of art known as the Hungry HP Sucker! And see this useless old broken toaster? We slaved for hours on end until from ashes rose the Delicious Toast! Not that we got it working, we actually turned the Toaster into Toast, how ironic eh?"

"Now you may be expecting, "Since their service is so good and so nicely priced, this repair shop must be an evil big business conglomerate. WRONG! We started as a little company and remain a little company. We also pride ourselves in knowing each of your names for 2 reasons. One, to better understand our costomers and provide the best possible service. And Two, to later sell to the Government for Tax write-offs. Plus every time you come in and have your equipment repaired, you are saving some poor defenseless baby seal. Yes, we at Jeff's Repair Service, love baby seals. You don't hate baby seals do you?

"We've helped other people, and we just might be able to help you! Call 1-800-JEFF-FIX, thats 1-800-JEFF-FIX our operators Apple Kid and the Info Mole are standing by. So call now!! Or at least sometime in the near future."