Dear Diary:

Hello diary, its Jeff again, who else would write in you? Anyway, diary, boy has it ever been a long day today. Ness, Paula, and I went into this really deep cave today. I have to admit right now, I was so scared, I wet my pants, multiple times, especially with that bear running at us, I swear I made a little “poo” in my pants too. So after I had gotten a nice clean pair of pants on, I went back to dazzling over the only girl I love. Oh yes, Paula, how I love thee, let me count the ways, of course dividing it by a multiple of 24, and then multiplying it by 3. The way she walks, the way she talks, the way she does anything! Oh, so godly, I would do anything to- oh, one second diary, Ness wants to tell me something. It seems that Ness has taken it upon himself to punch me in the nose, and tell me not to mess with his girl. Great, not I’m bleeding all over the damn paper, and how the heck did Ness know what I was telling you, anyway? Oh yeah, that’s right, that PSI stuff again. Yet another reason why Ness and Paula are “the perfect couple” geez, when will this ever end? I mean, what the heck does Ness have that I don’t? Sure he’s popular, smart, funny, the leader, the strongest, can summon the elements with just his mind, and even can be quiet for very long periods of times, but is that everything? I can do things too Diary! Like fix things and… and uhh.. umm.. Great, I just popped my self-esteem balloon again. I’m really starting to think about joining that Mr. Saturn Nazi Regime. Then I’ll force people to take my respect! Heck, I could try and grow one of those funny little mustaches and everything. Well, I may be limited to the fact that I’ve never grown hair on anywhere but my head, but I could always fake it, somehow. Thanks for listening to me again diary, you really are the only person/inanimate object I can talk to.

Hail Mr. Saturn!
Jeff