You may have heard some of these mine stories coming out of the Dusty Dunes Desert. The one that everyone likes is about Ness fighting all those moles. There’s five of them overall, but it turns out all of us told him we were mole #3. Personally, I’m pretty ticked off at my co-workers for all of this. It was supposed to be an organized assault that nobody could withstand, not even Ness. But instead, it turned into this disorganized bar fight and it seemed like each of us had an identity crisis.

Originally, I was mole #1. But because everyone else was talking about switching numbers, I decided to get in on the act. Sure, I knew I was mole #1 and had the skill and strength to prove it. But let’s face it, 1 just isn’t a very lucky number. You know what they say. There’s nowhere to go but down. I saw a few black cats sneaking into the mine. Mole #4 snuck outside and stole exactly 13 popsicles. And somehow, they had a ladder big enough for Mole #3 to walk under without noticing.

I picked #3 because I felt that if Ness was going to beat us, it would be because of luck. 3 is the classic lucky number, just ask anyone Irish. Let me tell you, that luck was coming into play there. I swung at Ness, got a few hits in and it looked like I could have pulled it off. But I guess Ness just had more luck since after a few bat shots to the head and some hard PSI from that girl of his, I just had to throw in the towel. It’s a shame since I was really the first one he went after. We could have pulled it off if I just stuck with #1 and at least half of the other moles stuck with their numbers. Not because of the luck but because it would have taken his mind off us. Instead of thinking “time to take care of the other four”, he was just going through like I was the only serious mole there.

I don’t regret taking #3. If the luck didn’t help me, it didn’t hurt me either. Besides, with all the talk about switching numbers, it seemed certain that someone else would have taken #1. The plan didn’t work. But lots of plans didn’t work and I think if anyone came close, it was the mole crew. The execution wasn’t perfect, but all you can ask for is a little luck and we got that. I’m taking all the credit for it, though. I don’t care if there’s no I in team, there was no team in the cave. Who knows, maybe that luck just wasn’t meant for a fight. I think it’s worth giving it another shot, so don’t be surprised to see “Mole #3” on the next mayoral ballot.