I’ve only worked at one place in my life and I plan on keeping it that way: At the Onett burger shop. I’ve worked here since I was 14, when I could cook what I think would be an average burger by my standards now. I can say that without a doubt, I can serve you the best burgers in the world, even on my bad days. I never realized until now, but I took my first vacation from work lately and was able to visit lots of nearby places and others a bit further away. On my vacation, I was able to taste burgers from places lots of people think of as big burger cities.

I packed my bags and was able to get a ride to Twoson, right next to Onett. I actually have some connections to the Mayor so he let me stay in that little shack Everdred used to live in. It was cold and I could swear that the TV kept turning on by itself, but it was good enough to get me by for two days. Anyways, this is about burgers and I got to eat one in the Twoson department store. Honestly, they make a good burger, but it just seemed to be lacking something. It felt sloppy and impersonal.

After Twoson, I skipped Threed and went straight to Fourside. I don’t see how anyone can live in Threed. They don’t have a single place selling burgers. I’m proud of what I do and seeing such deprived people just makes me feel like I’m not doing enough. I spent the rest of the vacation in Fourside. It was great, Fourside is a fun city. But the burgers aren’t good enough to satisfy a city that big. With twice the beef I use, they certainly are big enough, but the people there work so hard, except the Fourside burger people.

While I was in Fourside, I heard about a place that makes burgers so big most people can’t eat them in under a half hour, if they can finish. But those are probably some plain tasting burgers. Just like Fourside’s double burgers. Part of what makes a burger good is the other stuff besides the meat. I think I’ve found the perfect combination of pickles, lettuce, tomatoes, ketchup and onions for a good burger. Twoson tries, but I think they include too many onions. Fourside relies solely on the meat. The only other thing Fourside’s burger place includes is cheese and one time, they forgot that.

So after spending some time with someone else’s burgers, I can safely say that Onett has the best burgers in the world. Some people just don’t know what else to put under the bun besides the meat. Others think that it’s the only thing that goes under the bun. I know burgers and I challenge anyone to make one better.