Hello, folks, this is Dungeon Man, and I am here to tell you all bout the secrets of deep sea fishing. I hope that you are ready, because I sure am. I will be giving you a step by step instruction to the secrets of this great art, and I will tell you everything that I catch and how I did so. So, without further adieu, let us begin this majestic trip to find those deep sea fishes.

Okay, unless you are absolutely nuts, the first thing you will need is a boat. You may want to rent one because they are fairly expensive to purchase. My good ol’ friend, Ness, prefers to use a yellow submarine that he found inside of me. He claims it gets him to the fishes much quicker. Personally, I do prefer ferries or tankers: nothing smaller than that, just your regular dreadnoughts are my total favorites though. And getting hold of a personal dreadnought is not to difficult. Just cal the number on the piece of paper I am holding up right now, and, bang, you’ll have one on your front lawn tomorrow, just remember to as for the regular though, or they may send you an inflatable dreadnought, and those things can be a hassle to get into your automobile.

Once you get your vessel out at sea, sail away from the land until you are swallowed into the blue abyss of the sea and sky. Ah, it is beautiful, is it not? O, and make sure you brought your necessities like a line, tackle box, and bait. Fishing without those can make for some really testy fishing, especially with barracuda and whales. I had my harpoon once, and, I tell you, a gigantic Hump-backer took me for the best Nantucket Sleigh Ride of my life. Whoa, just the memory can shock me, even presently.

Okay, now set your line with the best hook you got, and hook a nice piece of bait on it, I normally use something along the lines of cows. No, not just pieces, I use whole cows. You weaker folk may want to use something smaller though, like birds or puppies. Then you just toss it in the water and wait.

I’ll take a quick nap now…

…

Whoa, what do we have here? Let’s reel her in and take a gander at it. Haha, she’s a beauty, alright. Look at that, a four meter coelacanth with a ten meter sea crock hanging onto it.

Well, that is all I have for you now, so until next time. Now to get back, where did I put that compass? No, I forgot my compass! Next time will probably be a long time off my friends. Seyonara.