I'm back, and it's been a long while. Imagine climbing a rather large mountain, only to realize that ... holy crap, this is taking way too freakin' long. Yup, that's how I am now. It's been almost a year, and it's time that I reveal something to the world. I, Noose Man, am not an enemy from the MegaMan series.

I know, I know. You're probably yelling "HOLY CRAP. HE'S NOT A MEGAMAN CHARACTER. I WISH TO KILL HIM, AND EAT HIS SWEET, SWEET, SUCCULENT KNOTS.", but realize something. It's not my fault! I tried! I honestly tried! But Capcom didn't like the sound of a Noose Man. They didn't think that an enemy who strangles, and suffocates their foe would be good for kids. So what do they do? They get a 'robot master' with a bubble shooter. A BUBBLE SHOOTER. COME ON NOW. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD?

So, I had to go to EarthBound. I bet you didn't know that. I wasn't the only one either. Mondo Mole tried to be MoleMan. However, they only wanted him to be a basic level enemy. He took that, and spit on it. Literally. The saliva on that idea was so gross. It just stayed there and was all like "GROSS" and such. It was amusing. I mean, it was amusing to think about. It was gross to look at. So naturally, he was fired. He then settled for a Sanctuary leader in EarthBound.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this rant. I raved for a while, and am satisfied with what this Ape Monkey wrote. He writes some funny stuff, I tell you. He wrote the fart joke, anyway. It was his only contribution to EarthBound. And yet, he still made more money. Wait. I hate that monkey. Yeah. That's right. You, typing. You. I hate you. YOU MUST DIE. TAKE THISSSSsss ...

(Typing suddenly ends for some reason.)