Welcome to the first edition of Gossip Folks Bling Bling. From now on, it shall be known as GFBB. It's time to "Rope" in some grand gossip for you!

- Jeff Andonuts no longer wets the bed. According to the genius, 'Huggies' deserve more credit than they receive. Why? Well, they keep him dry.

- Chaos Theatre was on the brink of shutting down due to a gas leak. Guess who leaked the gas? It's really ... quite sad. I hate that kid. I hope he gets a visit from the Soul Consuming Flame.

- The Arms Dealer recently sold a gift-wrapped cookie to some kid claiming it was a Sword of Kings. The Arms Dealer swears it was a mistake, and promises to give the kid a wrapped Meteorite should he ever return.

- The Worthless Protoplasm recently ran for the position of Mayor in Onett. His political slogan was simple: "I may be Worthless, but at least I'm not a Republican!"

That's all for today. REMEMBER: I'm made out of rope, and will hang you should I have to. So remember to eat your greens. I hate those idiot Coil Snakes. They take the attention from me ...