You know what makes me angry? Police Officers. As you know, I was once arrested for kidnapping Paula. Big fat hairy deal. It was for a storyline! They said my Village was beautiful and would be highlighted in a movie! Hot dog! I get to be a star! Alas, it wasn't as sweet as I thought it would be. Sadly, they cancelled the movie. I wasn't told, and I was continuing my research. I was told that I would play a kidnapper. What better way to get into the role of kidnapping then practice with underage children?

It only makes sense. You'd have to be stupid to think that I would kidnap people for other reasons. Yes, the police officers are stupid.

I sit in my Village with a note stating that I cannot come ten feet within children at all for 2 months. I mean, COME ON! It's not as if I cooked them up to be served to the Mondo Mole! I'm not crazy! Just misunderstood! If you would have had the same opportunity that I had, you would've jumped to the chance.

Is it a crime to kidnap children to pursue a career in show business? I mean, it worked for Harrison Ford ...