With the world going absolutely crazy over these new diets, I thought I'd share with you an old Dalaamian diet that has worked for everybody. This includes Poo and myself. It's quite simple!

1.) Stop eating for 11 minutes.

This is important. No more, no less. This allows your body to understand that its going to get smaller. This allows your stomach to prepare for the FIERY BRIMSTONE OF PAIN that it will have to endure.

2.) Kill a chicken.

This will help take your mind off the diet you are about to prepare for. Not to mention, killing stuff is good for the mind, body, soul, and thirst for blood.

3.) Stop eating for 3 years.

This will cause your stomach to shrink, and will force you to lose weight!

It's that simple! Anyone can do it!